An Open Letter About Church Abuse From Vy (My Wife)

Topic: Trauma, Abuse of Power, Abuse

Hi guys,
So if you follow Kyle for any time, you may notice that I’m not active on the Twittersphere, and I only use Instagram for business purposes. This is because, I honestly don’t prefer these mediums for social engagement. I like real face-to-face interaction. It’s just who I am. But given recent events, and especially after Kyle shared in detail our story of church abuse and racial trauma, I feel compelled to say something. Although Kyle can testify to my holding him accountable, I am the most anti-conflict and anti-tension kind of person you can meet, & my natural inclination is to deter Kyle from sharing what he did. The natural response is,

“We got out of there alive! Don’t look back!” 

BUT, what we went through, and tragically our 3 children, I WOULD NEVER WISH upon anyone to experience, which is why I support Kyle in his decision to share what he did in his article. The only reason I am able to stand with him is because I personally witnessed his humility, faithfulness, and integrity in the midst of trauma, afterward, and presently. We were once so deeply devoted to our church and the leadership and those under our care and observers can attest to this. We hosted small groups twice a week in our home, we did crisis-counseling for multitudes of people, hosted countless parties to celebrate every holiday and birthday for everyone within our reach, and all to the end that Jesus would be honored and magnified. But then to experience alienation, silence, and manipulation from leaders, whom we deeply respected and admired over issues of racial prejudice and racial justice, was a world-shattering experience. As a mother and wife, I understand how those close to the men mentioned in the article would respond. Please know that we are not embittered and are not seeking to avenge ourselves. We suffered alone in silence for years, because we only wanted to keep the honor of our leaders. What was kept in darkness for so long must come to light. It must come to light for our sake, our former church’s sake, and in hopes to prevent more suffering. Please ask questions and seek out the truth, but please do not accuse us of being opportunists and being people who are promoting our own platform. If that be the case, we would have shut our mouths and obeyed what the leaders told us to do so that we could continue in our “track of success” as minorities within the evangelical church. I am a personal witness to Kyle’s life, and I stand here proud to be his wife because I know what he sacrifices for the sake of the gospel and his advocacy for those abused and cast to the side.